I used to be afraid of being alone. In my head, being alone triggered emotions that reflected my insecurities and unhappiness. My continuous need for interaction became quite demanding for my friends. I used to stay in class or hover about the neighbouring classes, just so that I would be around friends to talk, laugh and eat with. Most of my friends I spent my time with knew why I behaved that way and accepted it. I’m sure, at point or another, they were annoyed or frustrated.
Moving into a JC, that had to change. My reliance on friends had to change drastically. The people you meet from now on are no longer able to handle their own lives, studies and activities etc…let alone yours. The need for constant interaction slowly dried up with the increasing piles of assignments and lessons to catch up with. Without realising, I slowly managed to get over the fear of loneliness. So much so, I seek solitude now, whenever possible.
With this, I’m not deeming friends as unimportant. Instead, I’ve made friends that I never thought I could. Although they aren’t in the same class as me, I still managed to get close to them. Finding common interests, nicknames, inside jokes bond us as one every passing day. I start my day in school, seeing them. I start my day, being very happy with the punologists. I may have a small pool of friends, they matter that much more to me.I rely on them. I trust them. Most importantly, I seek their companionship. But not constantly.
When solitude seems friendlier than company.