It doesn’t necessarily mean that only with an achievement, do you feel proud of yourself. It could be in the little things – helping someone, making someone smile or etc. I personally believe that I have done many things, both big and small, that I can be proud of. I wrote for an inter-school newspaper, won awards for my photography, changed my life for the better with determination etc.
For me, the one thing that I am still proud of & thankful for, in a sense, is making the decision of changing who I am to be a better person. Now, yes, I agree that sounds vague and doesn’t exactly make sense either. I mean, who doesn’t strive to be a better person? Is it really something to be proud of?
& it is for me. I was pretty badass when I was young. This trait was clearly displayed in my time in lower primary. I got into trouble, not for like not doing homework or being late etc. but actual serious ones like theft and what not. For the latter part of my primary three journey, I may have spent more time in the discipline mistresses’ office and the counsellor’s office more than my lessons. These things I did, were more impulsive in a sense that I didn’t have an elaborate plan beforehand that I executed like a ninja. I was opportunistic, for the wrong things. In my mind, if I could get away with those things I did, then it wouldn’t be wrong. That obviously didn’t work out, seeing that I practically lived in the discipline mistresses’ office.
So what made me change? Was it my parents? Every single time I was caught, my mother was informed. I would come home to someone disappointed in me. & honestly, I was indifferent, I lived with the perception that both my parents preferred my brother over me. Does a little disappointment affect how they see me? Not really.
What really made me change was ironically my English examination grades in primary 4. Let me give the context, I’m definitely not all-rounded (maybe now I am, in terms of size). All my life, I was great at athletics but that means my grades suffered quite a lot. In primary 4, for the first time ever, I scored the highest for English in my class with an astounding 45/50. This marked a turning point in my life as it showed me, SHREYA CAN ACTUALLY STUDY. From then on, I studied hard – science and english became my best subjects & I gave up on athletics.
What comes with studying, at least for me, was being motivated to be someone like my elder brother. Not because he was well-liked by my parents, but because he was able to do everything related to intellect well. Studying and trying to cosplay a smart person, took much time off my free time to look for opportunities to mess up. Slowly, the habits disappeared after not being in use for a few weeks.
And like that, I became someone with changed ways, for the better.
“I took the road less travelled & that made all the difference.” If I had taken that exam result as a fluke and continued my ways, I wouldn’t be here. I seized the chance unknowingly to better myself and it indeed made all the difference.