Birthday thoughts: 17 & Going.

I’m turning 17 tomorrow (whoo!)

and the hype is here, it’s real.

Every year, as August comes around, you’d notice a sharp spike in my energy levels for I’d be eager and excited for a very special day. The independence day after being liberated from the womb I was contained in. I love celebrations and I love celebrating my birthday. I mean I celebrate everyone’s birthday. You may ask, why? Why the excitement and hype when that day just indicates a step closer to your death?

First off, since I was young, my parents always celebrated it grandly every single year. They’d take me out to have family dinners and buy me new clothes. On the day itself, the family would gather around my cake and sing me the birthday song. It always seemed to me that birthdays are meant to be celebrated. I looked forward to it every year. Celebrating that special day with the ones I love, for completing another year. It was also one of the rare times, I’d see the family gather despite their compelling schedules. The scale of celebrations is smaller as the years go by, but hey, it’s the celebrations that matter.

Every year, I’d receive calls and letters from my grandparents to wish me a blessed birthday. It didn’t seem like much then, I was ignorant. After my grandfather passed, my birthday became a reminder to thank those around me for always being there and taking care of me. I’d always make it a point to make time to meet them when my birthday comes around – to spend time with them. Each person, who spends a significant amount of time in my life, has shaped in one way or another to make me who I am. I may not be the best or anything amazing, but the impact they had on me is still evident. I’m eternally grateful to each and every one of you.

Birthdays are rather special to me. It is considered an accomplishment. There are tears, anger, happiness, questioning self-worth, basically all kinds of emotions that I go through each year. Each birthday represents my growing ability to stick it through and my fighting spirit. I wouldn’t say that I never had thoughts of sometimes just ending the journey, it happens more than you think. But then, I remind myself that I’m getting closer to the next milestone, the next birthday, when I’d be stronger and more experienced and all this is only temporary. & amazingly, it gives me a great deal of strength to go through ordeals. 

I’ll be starting on my 18th year of existence tomorrow. I suppose, more maturity is expected of me. After all, I’m a JC student and moving toward legality in 2017. I’m not prepared to let go of my immaturity for it is a crucial part of me. however, I’m sure the circumstances will do whatever is in its ability to make me the mature person i need to be. More responsibilities and more ordeals are to come, be it academic, emotional or psychological. However, more than any of that, this day will be the first day to the next milestone. 


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